Being content is a common struggle and I want to first validate this if this is a part of your story. I notice many clients will say things such as , “I have everything that I want,” or “My mental health is in the best place it has ever been,” or “Why can’t I just be happy or content right now?” So, I want to talk through a couple of different reasons why you may not feel content and what to do about this moving forward.
Living In a Content Saturated Society
We have never had this much access to content or accessibility to other people’s lives, mainly through social media. While social media is a great way to keep up with friends or move your business forward, it also comes with a cost. Our brains were not meant to digest this much information. When we are constantly ingesting and digesting information, this may lead to difficulty feeling content. Perhaps you notice that other people may seem happier than you or you compare your life to photos you see on the internet.
However, remember that social media is meant to be a highlight reel. My encouragement to you is to monitor your content consumption. Notice how you feel after you have spent less time on social media. Then, consider setting boundaries around social media or the amount of content you consume.
Comparison Leads To Being Discontent
As humans, we are prone to comparison, whether it’s in your personal or professional life. You may tend to compare your story and our experiences to others’ experiences. Comparison robs you of your ability to be present and to fully experience joy. I encourage you to notice what areas you might be comparing your own life. I encourage you to shift to the present moment instead. When you do this, you may be able to get to a place of gratitude, where you can notice the joy in your life or have the ability to name things in your life that you are thankful for, while also acknowledging any areas of growth.
Having a Mental Health Diagnosis
Perhaps you have a mental health diagnosis that makes it harder to be content. If you struggle with anxiety or OCD, you may feel a sense of restlessness or hyper-vigilance, along with difficulty feeling satisfied with your achievements.
I encourage you to offer yourself compassion for this experience and to get curious about it. Ask yourself: what would be enough? What is getting in the way of you living in the present moment? What is getting in the way of giving yourself permission to acknowledge that what you are doing is enough or an experience is enough? Explore these questions with compassion over shame.
Being content does not mean that we are happy all the time or that we are always in a joyful state, but rather it’s the ability to get back in our window of tolerance. Our window of tolerance is the ability to acknowledge what we may be holding without judgment and to support ourselves through times of joy and times of hardship or grief.
There is hope for you that you can be content and find peace in your everyday life. You are not alone in feeling discontent.
Compassionate Affirmation: “I accept this present moment with non-judgment.”
Additional Resource: “Don’t Hesitate” Poem by Mary Oliver: “If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.”
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
Owner + Director
Laura is committed to guiding individuals along their path to mental wellness and has carefully gathered a team of skilled, knowledgeable, and committed therapists at Anchored Counseling Co. to assist in this mission.
The professionals here create an environment that is supportive and affirmed, informed by an understanding of trauma. At Anchored Counseling Co., there’s a shared belief in the fundamental worth of each person, and therapy is delivered with warmth and empathy. The therapeutic philosophy here is built on the premise that every client has the natural ability to enact meaningful and enduring change in their life.
To connect with a therapist who aligns with your unique needs, please contact our office at 615.510.3797 or contact us here.
