Pursuing perfection leaves us striving to reach an ideal that cannot be obtained and that does not exist. There is a lot we could say about perfectionism. In a nutshell, perfectionism can be an attempt to try to get our needs met. These needs may include: love, connection, comfort, belonging….In reality, perfectionism causes us to lose sight of who we are and disconnects us from our true, imperfect, human selves. Perfectionists oftentimes feel a sense of failure and resulting shame.
Below are four tips to consider when working on your perfectionism:
1) Start to notice your self-talk. Is it kind to yourself? If it isn’t, imagine how you would speak to a friend and try that with yourself.
2) Practice doing things imperfectly!
3) Get support from people who love you, see you, understand you if you are struggling with perfectionism.
4) Learn about self-compassion. There are lots of great resources on this topic, including a book by Kristin Neff: “Self Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.” Self-compassion is recognizing that we are all human, we all struggle, and we can choose kindness towards ourselves, over guilt or shame, when faced with a difficult situation.
If you are working on reducing your perfectionism and increasing your self-compassion, we see you & we believe in you! Know that you are not alone. You are worthy of kindness towards yourself!
By: Sarah Beth Flippo, MA