Today we have a blog post from one of our Master’s level interns, Devin Kappie, about the gift of saying no this holiday season. Devin has a passion for helping others and considers it an honor to walk alongside her clients’ journey in living lives authentic to them.
Her counseling approach relies on the practice of and use of compassion, vulnerability, courage, and patience with oneself and one’s relationships. Holding a strong belief that everyone is capable of living a life that is true to themselves, Devin values therapeutic relationships as it is a space that prioritizes safety and authenticity without the fear of judgment.
She believes all people and bodies are worthy and valuable. Through the unique and innate strengths of clients, Devin hopes to reconnect those she works with to a life and sense of self that is embodied by peace, empowerment, and belonging.
The Gift of Saying No This Holiday Season
I do not know about you, but I am ready to take on the holiday season and choose what I want my holiday season experience this year to be! The holiday season comes with many choices, emotions, and decisions for many individuals and families navigating this special time of year.
In this blog post we will dive into the choice, or gift, of saying no to foster a holiday season that aligns with your values, wants, and needs. This blog is written to support you in moving through your emotional experiences, even when guilt may be present.
Finding Balance in Perfectionism
I want to encourage you to re-evaluate the power that perfectionism may have on your life.
Gently begin by asking yourself: How is your perfectionism serving you? How is your perfectionism showing up in your life? By identifying these answers, you can begin to unwrap the pressure and guilt that may be present for you in the unrealistic expectations that the holiday season often brings.
Permission to Say No
Give yourself permission to say no or do less this holiday season. Lean into what you find valuable in terms of your time, energy, and resources to experience fulfillment.
It can be hard to give yourself permission to say no to others who may have their own expectations of what their holiday season may look like…You have every right to experience a peaceful and joyful holiday season. You can say no to things that do no matter to you and yes to the things that do!
The more you practice saying no to people, things, events that do not align with your values (though oh so hard to do!), hopefully, the easier this practice will become over time.
Protecting Your Peace
Protecting your peace can come in many different forms. Prioritizing and practicing self-care will help give you the opportunity to partake in hobbies and activities that truly nourish you. A part of saying no this holiday season also involves practicing skills that will help reduce your stress.
Yet, just as saying no takes time and practice, protecting your peace through self-care takes time and practice too! Perhaps this includes from watching your favorite movie, cooking your favorite meal, calling your closest friend all are examples of nourishing yourself on your terms this holiday season.
For more insights into the practice of saying no, take a listen to the podcast Hidden Brain episode You 2.0: How To Say No, hosted by psychologist Vanessa Patrick. It is a great resource to further understand why it is so hard to say no and how to make boundaries with loved ones!
I will leave you with this affirmative quote to take with you on your journey on finding balance in saying no this holiday season: “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself” – Paulo Coelho
We hope you found Devin’s insights on setting boundaries with your family helpful. If her message resonated with you, this could be the perfect time to take meaningful steps towards your healing and peace. To initiate your work with Devin, please feel free to call our office at 615.510.3797 or click here to learn more.
