Today we have a blog post from one of our Master’s level interns, Grace Clibourn, about cognitive defusion. Grace finds it a great honor to walk alongside those who are experiencing hardship.
Her counseling approach is rooted in the sense of hopefulness, and therapy with her feels light, compassionate, and empowering. Understanding that life can be unpredictable; Grace creates an environment that is free of shame and built on a sense of peace.
She believes each person holds within themselves the ability to live a life full of meaning and purpose, no matter the symptoms they may be experiencing today. Grace believes that everyone deserves to have a place to let it out in the presence of someone who is safe, genuine, and caring.
The Benefits of Cognitive Defusion
Do you notice you struggle with distressing and intrusive thoughts? Instead of getting stuck in this thought pattern, there is a powerful tool that takes a distressing thought and allows you to distance yourself from it and observe it from the “outside”. This allows you to separate yourself from the thought and decide if you want to engage with it. This skill can reduce pain and suffering and provide you with the ability to be more present in your everyday life.
Cognitive Defusion
Cognitive defusion is a core tool that comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. This concept helps us to observe a thought, consider it, and decide what to do with it. Imagine your thoughts are leaves on a tree and you watch the leaf fall off the tree and float down a river. You decide whether you want to grab the leaf or “thought” and engage with it.
Your thoughts are not always statements of truth. You may have the thought: “No one is going to like this blog post, and what I am saying is not going to help anyone”, but that does not mean it is true. In fact, if you look at that thought critically, you could think of a lot of ways in which this thought could be untrue. Perhaps, there may be some people who read the blog post and do not like it, and it does not help them, but it will likely help other people as well.
Benefits of Cognitive Defusion
Cognitive defusion is not only a very practical tool, but a powerful tool, because it creates some distance between a thought and one’s emotional response. This tool also allows us to see what may be getting activated in us, to extend love and compassion to ourselves and supports us come to a clear understanding of the current experience. This ability to direct your attention is called psychological flexibility and is a great predictor of mental wellbeing.
Separate Yourself From Negative Beliefs
Our beliefs are a powerful foundation for a healthy sense of identity. These beliefs may also be affected if you believe all of your thoughts are factual. If you have the belief that no one likes to read your blog posts, you will likely not write many blog posts, and when you do, you will assume that people will not like them. On the contrary, If you have the belief that people enjoy reading your writing, you will write more and enjoy putting out more information in this context.
Our beliefs have been shaped by our upbringing, our social context, our personalities, and the world we live in. By using cognitive defusion to practice separating yourself from your thoughts, you can work on changing how you view your beliefs about yourself. If you hold the belief that people do not like your writing, it is possible for you to change that narrative.
Challenge Your Thoughts, Emotions, and Beliefs
To begin to change this narrative, it is helpful to begin to explore all parts of the belief. Start with identifying the emotion and thought(s) you are experiencing. For example, you may be feeling fear if you begin to think no one will like your blog posts. It may be helpful to explore the emotion, such as, “I notice I am feeling fear about writing because there was a time when someone made fun of my writing which made me feel embarrassed.”
Instead of getting caught up in this thought, I encourage you to extend love and compassion to yourself. This may look like sitting with that memory and offer yourself the comfort and compassion you needed at that time. This could be giving yourself self-soothing words such as, “That was a hard moment in time,” or by giving yourself a hug. (If the memory is intense, I recommend doing this with a therapist who can help you do this in a way that feels safe and contained).
Another helpful tool would be to challenge the thought and reframe it. This means shifting the harsh perspective from negative to neutral or positive. You may say: “I was trying my best and this person who criticized me hurt me, but I am gaining the strength and courage to try again!”
There is hope. There is a way to approach tough thoughts and emotions without becoming completely swept up in them. There are powerful tools to help you heal from painful experiences in a safe and contained way that allows the hurt parts of our hearts to feel and heal.
Compassionate Affirmation: “My thoughts are not always facts.”
Resource: The Happiness Trap – This empowering book presents the insights and techniques of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) a revolutionary new psychotherapy based on cutting-edge research in behavioral psychology. By clarifying your values and developing mindfulness (a technique for living fully in the present moment), ACT helps you escape the happiness trap and find true satisfaction in life. You can buy the book here.
You Got This!
Grace
We hope you found Grace’s insights on cognitive defusion helpful. If her message resonated with you, this could be the perfect time to take meaningful steps towards your healing and peace. To initiate your work with Grace, please feel free to call our office at 615.510.3797 or click here to learn more.
