Many of us move through our adulthood carrying wounds that began in childhood. These are what we call inner child wounds. These wounds often come from your needs being overlooked, being told your emotions are “too much” for your parents or caregiver to handle, or the love or acceptance you received was conditional.
Your inner child is a part of your subconscious that represents the childlike aspects of your personality. It stores your childhood memories, beliefs, and emotions associated with your childhood. Reparenting is the gentle, therapeutic practice of giving yourself what you did not receive in childhood. It’s learning to respond to yourself with compassion instead of criticism, curiosity instead of shame, and patience instead of pressure. Healing your inner child means acknowledging that younger part of you who still longs to feel seen, safe, valued, and loved. Here are a few ways to reparent yourself and heal your inner child.
Create a Timeline of Your Childhood
Write down the significant events, especially challenging ones, that occurred in your childhood that may have contributed to your wounds. Note the age you experienced it and write a few keywords about what was happening at the time. Reflect on what these experiences taught you about yourself and the world around you.
For example, perhaps you notice there were many times where you were sad and began to cry, and instead of your parent or caregiver allowing you to cry, they told you to not be sad or that there is nothing to cry about. So, you learned to suppress your emotions and perhaps you have difficulty with being vulnerable.
Identify Unmet Needs
Think back to these memories and ask yourself what you needed during those times that you did not receive. What would you say to your younger self? I encourage you to engage in a compassionate dialogue with yourself where you offer yourself support and understanding that your inner child did not receive.
Try imagining a younger version of yourself and consider what you would say to them. Perhaps if you were not allowed to cry when you were younger, you could imagine holding your younger self and allowing them to cry into your arms and you tell them, “You are allowed to cry and let your emotions be as big as they need to be.” If this feels difficult to you, explore what you may say to a friend of yours if they went through a similar situation and use that language to speak to your inner child.
Recognize and Nurture Your Inner Child in The Present
Do you notice patterns or emotions that echo your younger years? By recognizing these moments, you can begin to intentionally nurture your inner child. You might ask, “What did I need in this moment that I didn’t receive as a child?” Then, consider one small way you can meet that need for yourself today—whether that’s speaking to yourself with kindness, setting a healthy boundary, allowing yourself to rest, asking for support, or engaging in something that brings you genuine joy. Give yourself the love and care you need and make decisions that align with your true adult values, not out of unresolved childhood needs.
If you have wounds from childhood that you have not worked through, we see you. We are here to tell you there is hope in navigating those wounds. Your needs are valid and your inner child deserves all the love and compassionate care.
Compassionate Affirmation: “I am worthy of care, patience, and understanding.”
Additional Resource: Anchored Counseling Company – If this blog resonated with you and you are experiencing inner child wounds, we would love to provide support and guidance for you from one of our compassionate therapists. If you are seeking professional help for this topic and for all mental health needs, please fill out our form below and we will get you connected to one of our therapists. You can fill out the form here.
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
Owner + Director
Laura is committed to guiding individuals along their path to mental wellness and has carefully gathered a team of skilled, knowledgeable, and committed therapists at Anchored Counseling Co. to assist in this mission.
The professionals here create an environment that is supportive and affirmed, informed by an understanding of trauma. At Anchored Counseling Co., there’s a shared belief in the fundamental worth of each person, and therapy is delivered with warmth and empathy. The therapeutic philosophy here is built on the premise that every client has the natural ability to enact meaningful and enduring change in their life.
To connect with a therapist who aligns with your unique needs, please contact our office at 615.510.3797 or contact us here.
