Today we have a blog post from one of our Master’s level interns, Devin Kappie, about the intricacies of relationships as we approach this Valentine’s Day. Devin has a passion for helping others and considers it an honor to walk alongside her clients’ journey in living lives authentic to them.
Her counseling approach relies on the practice of and use of compassion, vulnerability, courage, and patience with oneself and one’s relationships. Holding a strong belief that everyone is capable of living a life that is true to themselves, Devin values therapeutic relationships as it is a space that prioritizes safety and authenticity without the fear of judgment.
She believes all people and bodies are worthy and valuable. Through the unique and innate strengths of clients, Devin hopes to reconnect those she works with to a life and sense of self that is embodied by peace, empowerment, and belonging.
Moving Beyond the Roses This Valentine’s Day to Find Healthy Relationships
Valentine’s Day is a day or time of year filled with love, happiness, and sometimes roses but it can also be a time of pressure and perfectionistic goals for couples and singles. For some, it can bring about feelings of insecurity, loneliness, and stress. While for others, it can mean celebrating affection and love for oneself and their loved ones.
My hope is by exploring how to cultivate and maintain healthy relationships during this Valentine’s Day season, you can walk into this holiday with confidence.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries can be essential for maintaining healthy relationships, whether romantic, friendships, or family dynamics. They are helpful in order to protect our peace and experience safety within our relationships. A range of emotions may be present during this holiday, and that is ok.
In order to find out the best boundaries for yourself, I encourage you to pause and take some time to reflect on what activities, conversations, and interactions you feel comfortable participating in, and which you prefer to avoid. For example, does it align with your needs this Valentine’s Day season to attend your friends’ Galentine’s Day party to help get you out of your comfort zone? Or would it feel more comforting to be at home with your favorite book and snack?
Open Communication and Practicing Vulnerability
Another way to maintain healthy relationships is to practice being clear and respectful when communicating your needs to others and be curious around how your interactions with yourself and others align with your values. Without realizing it, friends and family may pressure you to act and behave a certain way this Valentine’s Day season.
Friend, I challenge you to embrace practicing vulnerability in your conversations with your loved ones and with yourself. This can look like expressing thoughts and emotions honestly. If you are unsure where to start with this concept, you can start with identifying what your thoughts and emotions are in the present. Examples of small acts of vulnerability that I find helpful are expressing one’s gratitude either verbally or in writing, acting out of kindness to others and myself, and asking for support from loved ones!
Practicing Self-Compassion
Society often reinforces the idea that love equals romance. However, it is important to remember that leaning into self-compassion can be a way to connect with yourself regardless of your relationship status. Self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness and care you would offer a loved one. Another way to practice self-compassion and care could be calling someone in your closest circle, going on a walk while listening to your favorite audiobook, or taking a nice afternoon nap! Self-compassion can help to reframe the narrative that your worth is dependent on external validation, rather than on the intrinsic value you have as a person!
If you would like to learn more about self-compassion I encourage you to read Dr. Kristen Neff’s book titled “Fierce Self Compassion”. Neff dives into helping women navigate self-criticism, speaking your truth, and cultivating a life that aligns with your values and needs.
Finally, I will leave you with this mantra from Dr. Kristen Neff: “You do not need to be perfect to be worthy of love and compassion”.
We hope you found Devin’s insights on maintaining healthy relationships helpful. If her message resonated with you, this could be the perfect time to take meaningful steps towards your healing and peace. To initiate your work with Devin, please feel free to call our office at 615.510.3797 or click here to learn more.
