Today we have a post from Hannah Wise on how to set boundaries for better mental health. Hannah is a compassionate therapist at Anchored Counseling Co., dedicated to helping individuals reconnect with themselves and their bodies. She values empathy, authenticity, and vulnerability in her therapeutic relationships, aiming to create a safe and collaborative space for healing and recovery. Hannah believes in the inherent beauty and worth of all bodies, emphasizing their empowerment in overcoming daily challenges.
Specializing in eating disorders, body image concerns, women’s issues, trauma, self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and OCD, Hannah employs a variety of therapeutic approaches. She is proficient in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Somatic Experiencing, mindfulness, and family therapy, tailoring her methods to meet the unique needs of her clients.
Hannah is deeply committed to walking alongside her clients on their journey of reconnection and self-discovery, offering her expertise and support every step of the way. We hope you enjoy today’s post from Hannah on how to better set boundaries for mental health and relationships!
The term “boundary setting” has become a bit of a buzzword in popular culture as of late. But what really are boundaries, and why are they important? Knowing how to set boundaries for better mental health and relationships is a skill and a tool designed to protect your well-being and develop healthier relationships. Knowing how to establish and uphold the boundaries you create takes practice and patience, but it will ultimately become a key component in your mental health and wellness.
The boundaries you create define the parameters for the behaviors you will accept from yourself and the people in your life. They serve as guidelines informed by your needs, goals, and values. They also demonstrate to yourself and others that you respect, value, and love yourself enough to prioritize your time, energy, and emotions. You’ll also find that creating and maintaining boundaries can help reduce stress and garner a sense of empowerment. Now that you have a better understanding of what boundaries are and why they are important, you are probably wondering how you create them. Here are some steps to take for creating and maintaining boundaries:
Embark on Some Personal Exploration
To set boundaries for better mental health, begin with personal exploration. We can’t form our boundaries if we do not know what we will (and will not) tolerate from ourselves and others, our values, and our needs. That’s why the first step in boundary setting is to look inward and determine what is important to us and how we want to feel. One great exercise that can help you in your self-exploration is to create your emotional acre. This exercise was created by Jenny Black to help her clients determine where in their life they need to set boundaries.
When we come into the world, we are given an emotional acre that we essentially can do anything with. However, that acre was not completely clean when we inherited it. It already had some seeds planted on it, such as the circumstances we were born into, the care we did or did not receive as children, the abuse we endured, and what we were told about God and others. As our acre becomes our own, we get to decide what we want, who we want to continually influence our acre, what we want to plant, and what we want to uproot. I encourage you to write, draw, collage, or paint your acre however it looks to you. Get as creative as you want! This exercise is meant to be fun and light-hearted, so don’t worry about perfection.
Reflect and Draft Your Boundaries
Once you create your emotional acre, reflect on where your emotional acre is currently being violated, either by yourself or others. Those areas are indications of where you may need to set boundaries. For example, if I value my personal space and privacy, but my roommate, sibling, friend, or partner is consistently entering my room without asking, I may decide that I need to implement a boundary in this space to live in alignment with my values.
Implement the Boundaries
When setting a boundary, the key is to be clear, direct, and succinct. This communication style is also a skill that may take some time to develop, so I recommend practicing with someone who feels safe before setting a boundary with someone in your life. Being straightforward and specific will help you deliver the message clearly so the person on the receiving end understands what you need and will tolerate. I want to encourage you not to apologize for setting the boundary. Setting a boundary is hard and makes you vulnerable to rejection or the possibility that the relationship may be unable to continue if the boundary is not respected. However, you are also modeling to the people in your life how to live authentically in healthy relationships, which will ultimately enrich both your life and those you are in relationship with.
Maintain the Boundary
You will surely experience times when others do not respect your boundary or forget to uphold it. In these moments, I encourage you to gently remind the other person of your boundary and why it is important to you that they hold it with you. While these moments can be uncomfortable, they offer the opportunity to reevaluate the boundaries you set and the people you are in a relationship with. It’s okay for boundaries and relationships to evolve and shift over time. They are meant to serve you and enrich your life!
If you would like to learn more about creating boundaries in your life, I recommend following @selfcare.recipe on Instagram. This account has excellent posts on how to create and hold boundaries and other ways to level up your self-care game.
Finally, I want to leave you with an affirmation that will remind you why you are setting and maintaining your boundaries: “When I keep my peace close, power will find me.”
You got this!
Hannah Wise
We hope you found Hannah’s insights on how to set boundaries for better mental health inspiring. If her message resonated with you, this could be the perfect time to take meaningful steps toward your healing and peace. To initiate your work with Hannah, please feel free to call our office at 615.510.3797 or click here to learn more.
