Today we have a blog post from one of our Master’s level interns, Devin Kappie. Devin has a passion for helping others and considers it an honor to walk alongside her clients’ journey in living lives authentic to them. Her counseling approach relies on the practice and use of compassion, vulnerability, courage, and patience with oneself and one’s relationships. Holding a strong belief that everyone is capable of living a life that is true to themselves, Devin values the therapeutic relationship as it is a space that prioritizes safety and authenticity without the fear of judgement. She believes all people and bodies are worthy and valuable. Through the unique and innate strengths of clients, Devin hopes to reconnect those she works with to a life and sense of self that is embodied by peace, empowerment, and belonging.
The start of a new school year can be a time full of change. This change can bring about both excitement and anxiety for many individuals and families. With the beginning of a new school year there are many changes such as to one’s daily routine, the addition of more day to day responsibilities or tasks, alterations in free time outside of school activities to be with friends and family, and having to find a new way to balance all of what life has to offer. Starting a new school year inevitably can also lead to changes in your nervous system, which can show up in many forms such as anxiety. I want to validate and normalize this emotion with you. If you or someone you care about are navigating the challenge of starting a new school year, anxiety, or both know that there are compassionate, gentle ways to move through this time. Here are three ways to use self-compassion to navigate anxiety at the beginning of the new school year:
Practicing Self-Kindness
Self-kindness is one of the key components of self-compassion – the other components understanding that hardship is a part of the human experience, and the practice of mindful awareness of emotions without judgment – in which you can practice and further develop the inherent truth that you are worthy of kindness and care. This practice may involve writing yourself a letter of kindness and gratitude, speaking to yourself as if you were speaking to a good friend, and giving yourself permission to be kind to yourself when you are feeling anxious. Emphasis on use of the word practice as this is a hard skill for many and it can take time and patience to be kind to yourself!
Becoming Aware of Self-Criticism
In becoming more aware of our own internal narratives we can start to understand and process the way in which we think and speak to and about ourselves. We as people in times of stress or heightened anxiety may resort to negative self-talk or self-criticism. Asking questions or saying statements such as “ It is silly that I feel anxious and therefore I am lesser than my peers”, “ I should be able to handle starting a new school year, so why do I feel anxious?” In practicing positive self-talk as opposed to negative self-talk, we can lean into the work of Kristin Neff in not only practicing self-kindness, but also working to mute the voice of our inner self-critic. Differences in negative self-talk vs positive self-talk may look like:
Negative self-talk: I am not prepared for the new school year and I am going to fail.
Positive self-talk: I do not know exactly what the future brings, but I know that I am trying my best in the moment.
Setting A Realistic Routine Based on Your Needs
Recognizing and addressing our needs can take time, but is an essential part of setting realistic goals for ourselves. One goal that may be helpful in soothing one’s anxiety with the new school year is setting a realistic routine in your day to day life. In thinking about what is realistic according to you and your life, consider leaning into your values and the healthy lifestyle you want to live. You may find it helpful to literally write down with a pen in a planner, or a calendar what your routine is going to be! Start small, whether that is day by day, week by week, or month by month and in your platform of choice write down each activity you want to be in your routine. It is more than okay to lean on someone else you trust in figuring out what you feel you want to be in your routine and working together to guide what this routine will look like for you. Perhaps you plan to do homework for one hour after you get home from school, or you plan to de-stress from the busy school day by playing with your family dog before starting homework that night as an example! Though we are talking about setting a realistic routine/plan it is also a part of life for things to not always “go according to plan” and that is also okay! By further practicing self-compassion you can continue to have the strength and empowerment to live a life that is most authentic to you.
If you are looking for more information on building a routine whether for yourself, or are a mother looking for a little bit more guidance on setting routines for your kids for the new school year, I recommend the podcast 3 in 30 Podcast Takeaways for Moms , specifically episode 196: Creating Back to School Routines for a Smooth Transition // Mika Perry. 3 in 30 is a platform that is not only a podcast but also has a Website that includes self-care, routine making, and living authentically!
Affirmation of the Day:
I will leave you with this affirmation that will give you peace in your self-compassion journey…
“Self-compassion is a practice of goodwill, not good feelings… With self-compassion we mindfully accept that the moment is painful, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience”. – Kristin Neff
We hope you found Devin’s insights on how to navigate anxiety helpful. If her message resonated with you, this could be the perfect time to take meaningful steps toward your healing and peace. To initiate your work with Devin, please feel free to call our office at 615.510.3797 or click here to learn more.
