Fall is my favorite season. I love this time of year, not just because of the cozy blankets, candles, football, time with loved ones, and gorgeous natural colors – I love this season because of the reminders that the leaves falling away provide for us.
As we continue further into the season of fall, I find myself reflecting on the leaves that are changing and falling away. The poem, Fall, Leaves, Fall, by Emily Brontë comes to mind.
As we think of the leaves that fall away, let us also use this as a guide to notice what is no longer serving us.
To continue to support your growth, below are three practical steps to let go of what is no longer serving you.
Start by asking yourself what is and isn’t working for you anymore.
Take Inventory Over Your Current Life
To further identify this, think of what may be getting in the way of you experiencing a meaningful life. This can include our boundary system, relationships, work/life balance, or our needs in general.
Examples of what might be working:
- Connecting authentically with safe people
- Choosing to live in accordance with your values
- Listening to and honoring your body’s needs
Examples of what might not be working:
- Talking to yourself in a critical way
- Lack of boundaries in your workplace
- People who invalidate your feelings
Friend, remember this is a question that is meant to evolve and be asked frequently. Life changes, so your answer can change too. Allow yourself to continually check in and reflect on what is and isn’t serving you.
Notice What Emotions Follow
As you check your inventory, leave space for whatever emotions arise. Perhaps you feel relieved, frustrated, empowered, overwhelmed, confused – whatever you are feeling is okay.
With change, grief often follows. Is there grief for you as you acknowledge what is and isn’t working for you?
Grief comes in five stages: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is appropriate to grieve as we let go of people, places, or situations. Friend, whatever stage of grief you may be in, be intentional not to rush through it.
Allow yourself to honor this season of life, even if there are aspects of what it is that are shifting because it no longer supports or serves you.
Move Forward With Compassion and Curiosity
As you notice what is falling away for you, decide how you’d like to respond. This is where intentional action takes place.
If you’re unsure what to do next, ask yourself: “Now that I’ve identified what no longer serves me, how can I better support myself with tenderness and gentleness?”
Perhaps you need to set a boundary with a colleague or communicate your feelings to a safe person in your life. You might find that you need to practice more kindness towards yourself or take more time for yourself.
As you decide how to move forward, embrace a spirit of curiosity. Challenge yourself not to place rigid expectations on yourself, rather notice how you can make change incrementally. Fall leaves do not change from green to beautiful autumn hues overnight, nor do the changes you make.
Friend, you always have permission to reevaluate this and begin again at step one. Part of being human is that our needs may shift in different seasons of life or environments we are in.
Additional Resources
Moving From Fear to Peace:
If you want to continue letting go of what doesn’t serve you, this evidence-based resource will help you improve your relationship to anxiety. This comprehensive, free guide includes 15 practices to help you shift your relationship to anxiety, cultivate peace, and foster confidence.
Mindful Affirmation:
I notice my needs that are shifting with tenderness towards myself.
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
Owner + Director
Laura is committed to guiding individuals along their path to mental wellness and has carefully gathered a team of skilled, knowledgeable, and committed therapists at Anchored Counseling Co. to assist in this mission.
The professionals here create an environment that is supportive and affirmed, informed by an understanding of trauma. At Anchored Counseling Co., there’s a shared belief in the fundamental worth of each person, and therapy is delivered with warmth and empathy. The therapeutic philosophy here is built on the premise that every client has the natural ability to enact meaningful and enduring change in their life.
To connect with a therapist who aligns with your unique needs, please contact our office at 615.510.3797 or contact us here.
