Understanding the Nature of Emotions
Our emotions can be tricky to navigate, and many clients that we see in the practice often have a tumultuous relationship with their emotions. If you have experienced difficulty feeling your emotions, know that we see you, we hear you, and we’re here to offer support and insight.
Exploring Your Relationship with Emotions
The first step in approaching your emotions is to explore your relationship with them. Ask yourself how you respond to your emotions. Do you categorize some emotions as good or bad, healthy or unhealthy? Reflect on where these beliefs come from. Perhaps you weren’t raised with permission to feel all of your feelings, or maybe your caregivers labeled emotions as good or bad. For example, you might think anger is bad and that you shouldn’t feel angry. However, anger is a healthy emotion that can point us to what we need.
Examining Beliefs About Emotions
Next, explore your beliefs about emotions. Do you believe that some emotions are good and others are bad? Do you think you shouldn’t feel certain things, or that only certain people should see your emotions? Identify which of these beliefs help you and which hinder you. Understanding your beliefs about emotions can provide valuable insight into how you manage your emotional experiences.
Giving Yourself Permission to Feel
To approach emotions effectively, you first need to give yourself permission to examine your relationship with them and acknowledge that emotional experiences can be uncomfortable. It’s okay to feel discomfort. We don’t have to make a lot of meaning out of our emotions when we’re in the height of them. Typically, an emotion lasts about 90 seconds. Problems arise when we make meaning out of an emotion, draw conclusions about ourselves because of it, or create narratives that aren’t true. This can prevent the emotion from fully cycling through and can cause additional distress.
Allowing Emotions to Inform Your Needs
Emotions point us to underlying needs and inform us about what we can do in any given situation. There is a lot of empowerment and agency that comes with this understanding. It’s okay to feel emotions and to give yourself permission to approach them rather than avoid them. Notice if you tend to avoid emotional experiences and explore what the underlying causes might be. Challenge yourself to approach your emotions and allow yourself to feel them.
Feeling with Safe People
Sometimes, this means feeling emotions with safe people—those who support you, see you, hear you, and understand you in healthy ways. Building a support system of safe individuals can make it easier to approach your emotions and process them effectively. Genny Rumanik at The EQ School provides an abundance of resources and insight in this regard as well.
By embracing your emotions and allowing yourself to feel them without judgment, you can foster a healthier relationship with your emotional experiences and gain greater insight into your needs and responses.
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
Laura is committed to guiding individuals along their path to mental wellness and has carefully gathered a team of skilled, knowledgeable, and committed therapists at Anchored Counseling Company to assist in this mission. The professionals here create an environment that is supportive and affirming, informed by an understanding of trauma. At Anchored Counseling Co., there’s a shared belief in the fundamental worth of each person, and therapy is delivered with warmth and empathy. The therapeutic philosophy here is built on the premise that every client has the natural ability to enact meaningful and enduring change in their life. To connect with a therapist who aligns with your unique needs, please contact our office at 615.510.3797 or visit our website today.
