As we enter the holidays, you may notice two truths that exist at once – both grief and gratitude.
This can be a time of festivities, celebrations, and time well spent with loved ones and people that fill your cup. No matter what your traditions are for the holiday, it’s so beautiful and amazing to cherish this holiday season with gratitude.
If you are filled with gratitude this season… I encourage you to express what you are thankful for both internally (naming this for yourself) and externally (naming this to people you care about). I invite you to slow down and notice the relationships that you have in your life that are dear to you.
The holidays can also be a time where individuals and families suffer with grief. If you are personally grieving this season… I want you to know that I see you and I’m with you. Further, you have permission not to rush your grief. I want to give you space to grieve, as grief is not often appropriately honored in our culture.
Please know that you don’t have to minimize, dismiss, or fix your grief.
I want to also acknowledge that it’s completely normal to experience a sense of heightened grief during the holiday season. Grief essentially points to a loss of a love, so it makes sense that while folks are celebrating with their loved ones, you may be more aware of your loss.
No matter how your grief presents, please know that it’s valid. This might be your first holiday season after the loss of a loved one or perhaps you are experiencing a job loss. You may find yourself in a season of loneliness or one in which expectations have shifted or perhaps waiting for something you are longing for.
Mindful Ways to Navigate Grief During the Holidays
Honoring Your Grief
The first way to navigate grief during the holidays is to honor and hold space for it. Just like gratitude, holding space for grief means intentionally slowing down and acknowledging it.
Here are some compassionate ways to acknowledge and honor your grief: Ask yourself how grief shows up in your life. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist about it. Engage in an experimental activity, like drawing your grief out. Engage in a tradition, such as baking cookies or drinking hot chocolate, that reminds you of your loved one.
Intentional Boundaries
In this season, be honest about what you need to feel supported as you move through your grief. I encourage you to be intentional about your boundaries. Welcome in self-compassion during this process of setting healthy boundaries.
How to practice setting intentional boundaries: First notice what you’re saying yes to. Perhaps you need to go home after a certain amount of time. Maybe you need to spend less time with someone who doesn’t understand or validate your grief.
Practicing Duality
Finally, I encourage you to try and hold both grief and gratitude. Our brains typically engage in black and white thinking. While this is not inherently wrong or bad, this is something to notice. In the therapeutic space, we challenge this all or nothing thinking by encouraging clients to live in the gray, a concept known as duality.
Duality is the idea that two things can be true at once. Holding both grief and gratitude is complex and it is possible for you.
If you feel you don’t have anything to be grateful for, that’s certainly okay. Gratitude can exist in the small moments of life, whether it’s a warm cup of tea or a deep breath or connection with a friend.
Gratitude is not meant to be weaponized or dismissive of our emotional states. I offer gratitude as a healing practice not to tell you “just be grateful” and disregard your pain; I offer gratitude as a means of recognizing the nuance and complexities of life.
Additional Resources
What’s Your Grief:
This account honors grief and offers validating posts for moving through it. I hope you find it helpful this holiday season.
Mindful Affirmation:
“I give myself space to honor my grief this holiday season.”
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
Owner + Director
Laura is committed to guiding individuals along their path to mental wellness and has carefully gathered a team of skilled, knowledgeable, and committed therapists at Anchored Counseling Co. to assist in this mission.
The professionals here create an environment that is supportive and affirmed, informed by an understanding of trauma. At Anchored Counseling Co., there’s a shared belief in the fundamental worth of each person, and therapy is delivered with warmth and empathy. The therapeutic philosophy here is built on the premise that every client has the natural ability to enact meaningful and enduring change in their life.
To connect with a therapist who aligns with your unique needs, please contact our office at 615.510.3797 or contact us here.
