Oftentimes, clients express to me that they do not feel like they know themselves. It can be a common idea that shows up for people whether it is not knowing who they are as a person, their likes or dislikes, or maybe they do not understand how to show up authentically. The purpose of this blog is to explore how to get to know yourself in a more meaningful and impactful way.
Being Mindful of Ourselves In a Busy World
The first question we may ask ourselves is, “What leads us to losing ourselves?” There can be many reasons, such as how many commitments we have and the fact that time seems to move faster each and every year. As a society and culture, we are typically spread thin, and this includes responsibilities we have, caring for loved ones and our work schedules. These are not inherently bad, but we can lose ourselves in the process as we are over-extended, tired, and may not necessarily have the time, energy or resources to practice curiosity with ourselves.
Self-Abandonment
Self abandonment is when we abandon ourselves, and when we do not honor our innate sense of self or our authentic self. We may become chameleons in this World and then when we finally look up years down the road, we perhaps question who we are, what we care about, what we value, or how we got here.
We can begin to engage in all types of behaviors that may be problematic, such as not honoring our boundaries, people pleasing behaviors, or perfectionism, and this has led to the concept of self abandonment.
If this resonates with you, I want you to know that I see you and this is a common experience I see within the therapeutic space.
Knowing Yourself Better
Getting to know yourself better can take time and a great way to begin to explore this is by going to therapy. The process of therapy is an invitation to come home to yourself and an invitation to be curious about what you like, dislike, what you value, and who you are as a person.
In the therapeutic space, I ask clients these questions and we will get to explore what makes them unique and space. As humans, we are inherently worthy and special and are deserving of acknowledgement of our uniqueness.
Here are some guided questions to ask yourself or process with your therapist: “Where do I want to spend my time?”, “What is important to me?”, “What are my values?”, “Am I living the life I want to live?” (and if not, “then what is preventing me from getting there?”)
Ask Your Loved Ones
Another activity that can help you get to know yourself better is ask your loved ones questions. I invite you to ask them what they love about you and why they love these characteristics about you. It can be a supportive process in helping us figure out who we are by asking people that care and love us.
I encourage you to carve out time for yourself to explore your hobbies, find time for rest and play, or to create a vision board to help you build a life that is meaningful to you. These are all ways we can get to know ourselves and we cannot know ourselves fully if we are not taking time to practice these rhythms. By knowing ourselves better, we can live a life that is aligned with our values and step into the person we desire to be.
Additional Resources:
“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – “Your Task” poem by Rumi
Being Embodied In Treatment – On this episode of Becoming Anchored podcast, licensed therapist Laura Deneen is joined by Registered Dietitian and Certified Eating Disorder Specialist Ellie Hodges. Together, we discuss using your body as a resource in treatment. We discuss reconnecting with your body and highlight ways we can use it as innate wisdom. You can listen to the episode here.
Compassionate Affirmation: “I am worth getting to know and by knowing myself better I can live a meaningful life.“
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
Owner + Director
Laura is committed to guiding individuals along their path to mental wellness and has carefully gathered a team of skilled, knowledgeable, and committed therapists at Anchored Counseling Co. to assist in this mission.
The professionals here create an environment that is supportive and affirmed, informed by an understanding of trauma. At Anchored Counseling Co., there’s a shared belief in the fundamental worth of each person, and therapy is delivered with warmth and empathy. The therapeutic philosophy here is built on the premise that every client has the natural ability to enact meaningful and enduring change in their life.
To connect with a therapist who aligns with your unique needs, please contact our office at 615.510.3797 or contact us here.
