When I was a little girl, I begged my parents to buy me a new bike that I had my eye on. The bike had pink streamers, glitter, training wheels, and a basket to hold my finest five year old toys. When I began riding my bike, I felt as if I could do anything and be anyone. One day, I tried riding without the training wheel in the grass, and fortunately, when I fell, the lush grass was a soft landing and rescuer. However, some days when I attempted to ride on the pavement, the ground was not as kind. I would come home with many bruises or a scraped knee.
I share this story as a metaphor for eating disorder recovery. Recovery is a journey with victories and difficult moments. I often tell my clients that recovery is non-linear. There can be many moments you may experience where it feels overwhelming or defeating, but I am here to encourage you that there is hope in your progress.
Beginning of Recovery
In the beginning stages of recovery, it may be difficult to choose to follow your meal plan or it may feel tempting to go back to your eating disorder behaviors. (Just like falling off your bike or scraping your knees). Your eating disorder self may tell you that recovery is not worth it or that you are better off being comfortable in your eating disorder.
Another difficult part of recovery is that our culture is focused on diets, compulsive exercising, and fatphobia (beliefs or prejudices that marginalize people in larger bodies). There may be days where it feels impossible to let go of these beliefs and choose your healthy self, i.e. the part of you that desires to recover.
You Can Live In Freedom From Your Eating Disorder
There is another way. I invite you to think about that little girl who was determined to ride her pink bike without her training wheels. “Falling off your bike” also known as the process of learning what does or does not work in your recovery process is a normal part of the journey. I invite you to be compassionate and patient with yourself as you are figuring out how to challenge your eating disorder.
Even if you fall down, what matters is that you give yourself the permission and freedom to put your “helmet” back on and get back on the bike. From a recovery standpoint, this looks like following your meal plan, meeting with your treatment team (therapist, dietitian, and doctor), and reaching out for support from your loved ones.
Honoring Yourself
This will take time, and I am here to remind you that when you experience hardships in your recovery and choose to get back on the “recovery bike”, you are honoring yourself in a beautiful way instead of the eating disorder. You are also giving it less power when you challenge its roots and it will eventually loosen its grip on you.
You are worth the journey and hard work of recovery. There is a full life you can experience outside of your eating disorder if you step into the process. It is not easy, but it is well worth it. I recognize that this metaphor may not resonate with everyone, and I encourage you to take what you can relate to, and discover what you may need to commit to your recovery process. I see you and I am with you along the way.
Additional Resource:
8 Keys To Recovery From An Eating Disorder – This practical and compassionate book highlights an unparalleled depth of awareness into just what it takes to successfully beat this challenging and seemingly intractable clinical issue. Written by a therapist and her former patient, Costin and Grabb share their personal stories of hope and victory from recovering from their own eating disorders. You can buy the book here.
Anchored Counseling Company – If this blog post resonated with you and you are looking for additional support with your eating disorder or other mental health concerns, we would love to set you up with our compassionate and effective therapists. You can contact us here.
Compassionate Affirmation: “I am worth the effort it takes to recover.”
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
Owner + Director
Laura is committed to guiding individuals along their path to mental wellness and has carefully gathered a team of skilled, knowledgeable, and committed therapists at Anchored Counseling Co. to assist in this mission.
The professionals here create an environment that is supportive and affirmed, informed by an understanding of trauma. At Anchored Counseling Co., there’s a shared belief in the fundamental worth of each person, and therapy is delivered with warmth and empathy. The therapeutic philosophy here is built on the premise that every client has the natural ability to enact meaningful and enduring change in their life.
To connect with a therapist who aligns with your unique needs, please contact our office at 615.510.3797 or contact us here.
